What's Next??

I have NO idea! I find my mind wandering around that question, over and over again. What does life hold for me? What am I meant to do? Am I meant to go somewhere, or stay put? Job? Change? It seems like a waiting game. How long can I hold out, and what do I win for holding out so long? Most big decisions in my life have sort of fallen into my lap; jobs, decision to go to school, cars, trips, etc. I keep looking at my lap, waiting for whatever it is to appear. Just looked. Nope, still nothing.

This phase in my life has taken a lot longer to figure out than any other phase. The I-graduated-from-college-and-should-get-my-life-together-but-don't-quite-know-how-to phase. Confusion. Patience. Searching. Waiting. Filling my time with 'in the mean time' tasks. It's an odd feeling. Waiting for something, but not sure what to look for, or even where to begin. Pressure to conform to societal norms. Watching friends and peers figuring life out, and even impressively excelling. I'm told its a common feeling and reality for my age group. But that is no consolation. Open to suggestions (hint, hint). So, with no clear vision or revelation, I guess I'll just continue to sip my wine, one glass at a time.

Just Jack: Update

Some concerned followers have been asking me how Jack is doing. Apparently, I have left them on the edge of their chairs, desperately wanting news. Well, I am happy to say that he has pulled through. He was in the hospital for about two weeks, at which point it was deemed appropriate for him to move on to a re-hab center. He lost a lot of weight and even more muscle strength while in the hospital, so now his main priority is rebuilding that muscle to get back to pre-hospital-stay levels.

While he was in the hospital, the staff somehow lost his teeth. He doesn't have any of his own teeth anymore (I guess that's what we get to look forward to) so both upper and lower dentures are gone. This has obviously made eating and speaking difficult. Food has always been something he adores, so to eat all his meals mushed up has been a struggle for him. He tells me that most of the time he doesn't even know what he is eating, he has to look at the sheet to see what the menu consists of. We are working on getting him a new set of choppers, which will take a few weeks. In the mean time, he goes to physical therapy every day and has the goal of going home in sight.

If I neglect to call him every few days, he calls. The calls are all pretty similar, after all, when you are sitting in bed, in a shared room, there's not a whole lot of interesting things to talk about. But he tells me that he misses hearing my voice, that he loves me, that he appreciates all that I do for him, etc. So, life goes on, one day at a time.

Personality Insight

Realization: I am Kramer. Hold on. Before you go, 'Um, what? Kramer?' just listen up. After talking to a friend about my odd jobs, and just my life in general, he stops me. 'Bekah, you know what I just realized, you are the Kramer of our group! You totally are. Think about it. You don't have a job, no one knows what you do or how you support yourself and yet you are always busy with important stuff!' It took me a few seconds to soak that in, and I just laughed. I totally am Kramer, well minus the awkward frizzy fro and the sly ability to open a door and slide into the room....The similarities are so remarkable that I am surprised that this comparison is just now coming to light! And upon some consideration, I have come up with a comparison list. Enjoy.

• I mooch other peoples' food on a regular basis, and frequently walk into certain people's house and head straight to the fridge for a snack
  
• I have no substantial/grown-up job
• I know random people all over the place
• I always seem to have the inside scoop on everything, which proves to be very helpful for those around me
• I spout out great ideas and advice without really even trying or thinking about it, almost on accident
• My days are all full, and I don't always know how
  
• I do people favors and have favors that others owe me, all stored up
• I can be blunt and brutally honest
• I get along with my friends' parents better than my friends do with their own parents. This is even true with said friend who told me I am like Kramer. And like Kramer responded to Jerry after Jerry finds out Kramer calls the Seinfelds once a week, "If you called them more often, I wouldn't have to!"
• Money has always just fallen into my lap
  
• I don't see a doctor
• I replace many words with sound effects
  
• I donate blood on a regular basis and have considered storing it at a blood bank
• I was also a lifeguard
• I regularly drop everything to go on trips, adventures, and extended vacations
• People call me by my last name
  

I am sure there are other comparisons, but those are the most obvious. Kramer is eccentric and odd; common fact. So, I would hope that I am not entirely like him. Nonetheless, I can't pretend that I am nothing like him. Now, if only I can channel some entrepreneurial ideas to create steady work for myself....