Friends and Cherry Blossoms

As the season changes around me. As the summer fades into fall, and the leaves turn an array of brilliant reds, yellows and oranges, my mind starts to wander. In this part of the country, the changes in seasons are easy to notice and happening all around you. How could you miss it?! And just when you get used to one season, the next one starts creeping in. And as those leaves fall and blow, signaling the onset of winter, I am also caught up in changes in my life and the changes in those around me. And I can't help but notice the extreme similarities between friends and seasons.

Friends breeze into our lives, much like the cool winds of fall. And they can move on, just like the dog days of summer. Sometimes due to a falling out. Sometime as a result of a physical move. Or sometimes as a result of a change in lifestyle (becoming a wife, mother, etc.). We grow up with a tight set of friends who know us inside and out. Then after graduation and real life begins, shifts take place, and our priorities and daily habits change. Those friends take different paths, and our daily lives don't have as many shared interests or commonalities. So, we make new friends and the cycle continues. Do we dislike those original friends? Not necessarily. It just so happens that we went to different colleges, or work full time on the opposite end of town and have different time commitments and can't devote as much time as before.

And the friendships that we do keep long term, develop in a sort of seasonal pattern as well. We meet. We get to know. We got closer. We develop. We possibly encounter a set-back or problem. And the friendships that last beyond that storm, take on special characteristics. We have times of extreme closeness, and times away. We don't stay the same person, nor do our relationships with each other. It's a constant influx, pushing us back and forth. Just when we think we know who we are, or just when we think we know who our true friends are, something comes out of no where and forces us to see things differently.

Whatever the reason for a 'shift' or fading out of a friendship, I am realizing that the reason it gets to me, is that I have this subconscious ideal that a friend will be a friend forever! And that friendship will be just as strong and fantastic as it was in the best of times. So when that doesn't happen, and someone moves away, my unrealistic hope of 'having' them forever is dashed and I get discouraged.

It's a rather bittersweet reality. Because just when I get discouraged about a shifted, or moved away friendship, another one miraculously appears as a perfect 'replacement'. Coming and going. Back and forth. Just when life seems to 'settle down', something rustles it all up. Things don't stay the same for long, and at times, I sort of squint at the future, reminding myself to stay hopeful despite seemingly sad circumstances, because surprises are always hiding right around the corner! And before I know it, the vibrant colors of spring will be popping up everywhere!