Telling Jack and Grace that I was moving was the moment I had most dreaded since I made the decision to move. I delayed. I stalled. But the silence had to end at some point. He knew something was up.
'What's wrong Rebekah, you seem kind of moody since you returned from your trip. Is there something you need to tell me?'
How does he do that? Sometimes I wonder if he knows me better than I know myself!
'Nope, I just have a lot on my mind. It's nothing Jack.'
'Well, I know we don't keep secrets from each other, so I trust you will tell me when you are ready.'
I sat them down, and spilled the news. The usual list of reasons and rational behind my decision.
Grace: ecstatic. enthusiastic. jazzed. inquisitive. laughing. hopeful. supportive.
Jack: silent.
I explained that we still had a few months to sort things out in preparation for my move. But Jack's silence really had me worried. This was why I had dreaded telling them. This was the response I had feared. Later in the car, after he had time to ponder the full scope of this news, he explained how even though it didn't seem like it, that he was supportive and happy that I was doing something with my life. It was clear that he was excited for my future, but worried about his. He explained that he couldn't expect me to put my life on hold by sticking around and taking care of them out of the goodness of my heart. But still, the implications of me leaving them is frightening. We have created such a bond over the past 4 years. Their life is completely dependent on others, and I have been the glue that ensures all the pieces stay in place and operate smoothly.
So while he is excited for what this experience will do for my future, he is reluctant. Bittersweet is the reason for the season I guess.
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