Telling Jack and Grace that I was moving was the moment I had most dreaded since I made the decision to move. I delayed. I stalled. But the silence had to end at some point. He knew something was up.
'What's wrong Rebekah, you seem kind of moody since you returned from your trip. Is there something you need to tell me?'
How does he do that? Sometimes I wonder if he knows me better than I know myself!
'Nope, I just have a lot on my mind. It's nothing Jack.'
'Well, I know we don't keep secrets from each other, so I trust you will tell me when you are ready.'
I sat them down, and spilled the news. The usual list of reasons and rational behind my decision.
Grace: ecstatic. enthusiastic. jazzed. inquisitive. laughing. hopeful. supportive.
Jack: silent.
I explained that we still had a few months to sort things out in preparation for my move. But Jack's silence really had me worried. This was why I had dreaded telling them. This was the response I had feared. Later in the car, after he had time to ponder the full scope of this news, he explained how even though it didn't seem like it, that he was supportive and happy that I was doing something with my life. It was clear that he was excited for my future, but worried about his. He explained that he couldn't expect me to put my life on hold by sticking around and taking care of them out of the goodness of my heart. But still, the implications of me leaving them is frightening. We have created such a bond over the past 4 years. Their life is completely dependent on others, and I have been the glue that ensures all the pieces stay in place and operate smoothly.
So while he is excited for what this experience will do for my future, he is reluctant. Bittersweet is the reason for the season I guess.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Announcement
I have news. Brace yourself, because it is going to feel like a sneak attack, the last thing you would ever expect me to announce. Ready? I'm moving to Omaha, Nebraska in October!
This has been a long time coming. Well not this actual decision, but the decision to do something different. Embarking on my recent road trip, I had in the back of my mind, a critical eye on each place we stopped. 'Could I live here? Is this where I am meant to be? Are there job opportunities?' I fell in love with many of our destinations, but many places just didn't have the all the right 'elements'. For instance, Boulder, CO is the most amazing/beautiful/charming city and I have a great friend there, but there are no jobs there. Then, as my trip ended, I had time to stop and reflect on my flight home. As I landed in San Jose, and later when I got home, everything felt wrong. I was not meant to be here anymore. All the while, Omaha kept creeping in.
Although I had been to Omaha in high school, I realized that I had no real, distinct memory of the city. At that point, it was just another city on a whirlwind family vacation that left no lasting impression with me. As an adult, I felt like I was viewing the city for the first time with a fresh perspective. It took me by surprise and appealed to me somehow. And, it had all the aspects necessary for a move: Friends, a stable job market, a church, a place to live with a friend, the college world series, a Cabelas store, a Bass Pro Shop, and at least 5 restaurants featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!
The common question I am getting from people, upon hearing my news is: 'So who's the guy?' Implying that the only rational reason to move to such a destination would be for a guy. Nope. No guy. I am moving for me, that's all. Other common responses include: 'Um, do you realize that there is no ocean in Nebraska? Did you know the weather is pretty crappy there? You may not be able to wear flip flops year round there, are you sure you can handle that? It's kind of in the middle of nowhere, you sure that's what you want?' To all these concerns, I state that I know this will be a big change, but that is the goal! I have lived in paradise my whole life and need to experience something different. And if I was moving somewhere for great weather, I wouldn't leave Santa Cruz, therefore the weather is not a huge deciding factor. I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it!
The plan is to stick around for the summer, look for jobs in Omaha, help with the wedding, save up as much as I can, then drive out a few days after the wedding. I am committing myself to stay for one year, and then reassess after that. I am so jazzed about this! My only wish is that October was closer than it actually is! I welcome any thoughts, support, and 'what are you thinking?!' type comments! With excitement, I wonder what this new chapter of my life will look like, but I'm pretty sure it will be nothing less than fabulous!
Like the sign says, I am welcoming the 'Good life'
This has been a long time coming. Well not this actual decision, but the decision to do something different. Embarking on my recent road trip, I had in the back of my mind, a critical eye on each place we stopped. 'Could I live here? Is this where I am meant to be? Are there job opportunities?' I fell in love with many of our destinations, but many places just didn't have the all the right 'elements'. For instance, Boulder, CO is the most amazing/beautiful/charming city and I have a great friend there, but there are no jobs there. Then, as my trip ended, I had time to stop and reflect on my flight home. As I landed in San Jose, and later when I got home, everything felt wrong. I was not meant to be here anymore. All the while, Omaha kept creeping in.
Although I had been to Omaha in high school, I realized that I had no real, distinct memory of the city. At that point, it was just another city on a whirlwind family vacation that left no lasting impression with me. As an adult, I felt like I was viewing the city for the first time with a fresh perspective. It took me by surprise and appealed to me somehow. And, it had all the aspects necessary for a move: Friends, a stable job market, a church, a place to live with a friend, the college world series, a Cabelas store, a Bass Pro Shop, and at least 5 restaurants featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!
The common question I am getting from people, upon hearing my news is: 'So who's the guy?' Implying that the only rational reason to move to such a destination would be for a guy. Nope. No guy. I am moving for me, that's all. Other common responses include: 'Um, do you realize that there is no ocean in Nebraska? Did you know the weather is pretty crappy there? You may not be able to wear flip flops year round there, are you sure you can handle that? It's kind of in the middle of nowhere, you sure that's what you want?' To all these concerns, I state that I know this will be a big change, but that is the goal! I have lived in paradise my whole life and need to experience something different. And if I was moving somewhere for great weather, I wouldn't leave Santa Cruz, therefore the weather is not a huge deciding factor. I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it!
The plan is to stick around for the summer, look for jobs in Omaha, help with the wedding, save up as much as I can, then drive out a few days after the wedding. I am committing myself to stay for one year, and then reassess after that. I am so jazzed about this! My only wish is that October was closer than it actually is! I welcome any thoughts, support, and 'what are you thinking?!' type comments! With excitement, I wonder what this new chapter of my life will look like, but I'm pretty sure it will be nothing less than fabulous!
Like the sign says, I am welcoming the 'Good life'
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