Where Everybody Knows Your Name

The theme and also the song from Cheers. The universally appealing feeling of being welcome and known! We all want to go places where people know our name. We want to stroll into our local pub or coffee shop and have the person call out a hello, while they get our 'usual' started. It's that warm and tingly, small-town feeling, no matter where we are. It is just great to be 'known'.

This reality rings true for me in a big way, but not in the usual fashion. Normally, you make a name for yourself, by being a 'regular' or networking, building relationships and living in an area for an extended period of time. In my case, my reputation precedes me. Before I was born, the Clausing name was being built, no pun intended... And growing up in a small community, in a family like mine, everybody knew my name, well, my last name at least, and everything that came along with it. At a recent workday, someone came up behind me as I was working and commented on my 'Clausing Work-horse genes'. I gave the courtesy laugh and she went on to say how she is always amazed at how motivated, strong and dependable Clausings are and how she wished she had some of our genes. No new news here. I've heard similar comments before. But it got me thinking. This reputation that I am apart of, by being born a Clausing, was not something I chose or created. Instead I must continue to uphold everything that it stands for. This can be a little stressful and overwhelming at times, considering how big the shoes are that I must fill, again, no pun intended....

My family name is known farther than might be expected. I can go to many parts of the country and people say, 'Wow, you must be a Clausing!' or 'You look just like a Clausing!' Yeah I like my family and all that we stand for, but now that I am an adult, I feel a need to make my own name for myself. To go somewhere where nobody knows my name and create my own reputation. Isn't that what most people do? They grow up and people scarcely know their family, parents or past? Family name and reputation matter little in big-town USA. But perhaps that is the problem. Lack of family connection, roots, and common traits passed down through the generations. I guess, like anything in life, there are pros and cons. I don't think I stand a chance in fighting it. No matter what, I guess I'll always be a Clausing, and all the work that comes along with it!

Take Me out to the Ball Game

I don't usually post about my detailed day-to-day doings, but I feel a need to share this one! A friend notified me that she had free tickets to a San Jose Giants game. Free!? I am in! Erik and I planned to meet her over there and enjoy a great night of baseball. Little did we know that the night would turn into such a random/great adventure.

It all started with Erik and I frantically trying to find some grub before the game (wanting to avoid less-than-par, over-priced stadium food). We soon discovered that finding a food joint is rather difficult in the industrial/warehouse/low-income/sketchy part of town. Walking into a market or 'tienda' we felt that a mugging or knifing incident would not be out of the question. Nope, nothing here that our stomachs could handle. Wait, what is that over there? A Mexican Restaurant! Score! The music squeaked to a halt and all heads turned toward us as we entered a Hispanic-only store, where the waiter asked us in Spanish if it was 'for here or to-go'. We gave each other a slightly panicked look and bolted for the door! About to give up, we finally find the 'House of Noodle' and got a delicious dish, not without looking into the display case and wondering, but not really wanting to know what was in those jars!!
After quickly scarfing our hot food as fast as possible, we met up with Stacey and headed to the stadium parking lot. The parking attendant directed us park on a grass field surrounding a gravel track. There were no parking spaces or any clear order as to where to park the car. To make things more awkward, the majority of the grass area was already taken up, leaving the gravel track, that was occupied by many city-dwellers getting in some evening exercise! Uh, what are we supposed to do? Run over these families running around the track??

Inside the Stadium, we grabbed an ice-cold beer. A great option on the windiest, chilliest day of the year! Found a seat, and I pulled out my Snuggie. The commercial clearly states that sporting events are a great place to sport the Snuggie. But doing the YMCA along with the rest of the fans is clearly not in the commerical, so I opted out of that one!
The fans consisted of a pretty enjoyable mix. The Giants were playing against the Bakersfield Blaze. The Giants were pulling their own for the first half of the game, but just couldn't hold on for a win. We had a Giants fan behind us that had some great one-liners. After Bakersfield hit a ball over the field, our fan yells 'You still have to go back to Bakersfield after this. That's not a victory!' Two guys and a girl in front of us were approached by the police half way through the game and were escorted out of the Stadium. We were all puzzled, but definitely distracted by this sudden turn of events. As they were walking out, our fan yells 'Leave your girl here with us!' A couple more great comments came that aren't family friendly and don't belong on this blog...
The crowd thinned out real quick as the wind picked up and the cold persisted. But we stuck it out until the very last at-bat. As the seats cleared out, the remaining few felt more and more comfortable with each other and cranked up the dialogue and interactions. The churro man wandered around yelling 'Churro!' I asked him how much and he replied '$3 or 2 for $5'. I didn't reply, so he says 'What, to expensive?' I said yes, so he comes up to the seat in front of us and pulled out a churro and insisted that I take it. No thanks, No thanks, No, I'm ok, No. 'Just take a bite, after you take a bite, I won't be able to sell it to anyone! Just a bit, take it. Take it. Here. Please, I want you to have it.' All eyes on me, I finally gave in and feared 'the catch', you know, the thing that I would have to do to pay for it. Nothing, he just walked away! What? Wow!

A disappointing loss for the Giants, 10-6. Too bad. We decided that this was not the last time we would take part in a Giants game this season! Great seats, great prices, great fans, and an over-all great time!

Just Jack: Hospital Anecdotes

No one wants to be in the hospital. No one. Not to visit, not to stay over night, nothing. But Jack seems to make this universally terrible experience humorous and light.

• Phone call to Jack's room: "Well, Rebekah, they gave me a catheter today....Boy, that was an experience."

• After realized that a mutual friend happened to be the nurse in charge of nearby rooms: "Wow, I am so glad she wasn't my nurse and didn't put my catheter in! That would have been really embarrassing!!"

• Awaking from a doze: "Rebekah, I can't feel my teeth!" "That's because they are sitting on the table Jack!" "Oh, well no wonder I couldn't feel them!"

Just Jack: The Unknown

I hurt. Jack's health has taken a turn from bad to worse in a matter of a few short weeks. As I am writing this, he is lying all alone in a hospital bed, suffering. I know he is the one with immense suffering in body, but my heart and tear ducts are maxed out. Life is a gamble for all of us, not knowing our expiration date. But that reality is much more real as the years are piled on. 88 years is an accomplishment, a long full life. But what does that have to do with anything? Does living a long time make it easier to say goodbye? Does it make the suffering inevitable?

I find myself reeling with thoughts. Sadness. Fear. Love. Helplessness. I have always known how much this dear man means to me, and I have known that this would not be easy. But being at this crossing is more difficult than I could have ever anticipated. My feelings of love and gratitude are overflowing, while I scream inside for more time! He hasn't taught me enough! I haven't helped him enough. His presence in my life is substantial, and the hole that's left will be unbearable.

Seeing him helpless, limp and permanently half-asleep is torture. Fighting back tears has turned into a battle I just can't seem to win. I need to be strong. In his frailty, he doesn't hold back how much he loves and appreciates me. Hearing those kind words from a dying man is almost as difficult as the fear of Jack's unknown.