Thinking about home

What's the term used to describe missing your culture? You know, moving far from home and missing all the little traditions and habits of that place you left behind? Well, I have that.

Sometimes I feel like a broken record, "I love it here, but miss home." This seems to be the story of my life for the past year and a half. But lately, it's been on my mind.

At work, the office space that we rent had some extra rooms that we weren't using, so we decided to sublet them. The people who ended up moving in, are Russians. They have been living in the United States for many years, but the accent is audible. After a snow storm, one of these men walked in and asked me, in that thick Russian accent "Do you know why it is snowing? It is snowing because I just washed my car!" Ah, dry Russian humor. But then, every once in awhile, he will come around the corner and tell me that today is the equivalent of mother's day, back in Russia. Or that today is a holiday commemorating (fill in the blank). And I got to thinking. Obviously they left Russia for the seemingly cliche reasons, and that this life is better than the one they were leading. But regardless of all that, I'm sure they really miss those little daily familiarities that only fellow Russians could relate to.

We grow up with those little traditions, the ones that you don't realize are anything special, until all of a sudden they aren't present in your life. And the reason why we long and yearn for a place is generally not one major thing, but instead, many little things all added together. Another aspect of that, is the ability to share and talk to others about it, who know exactly what you are talking about! Luckily for me, there are people here who know my family and lived in Santa Cruz. So when something reminds me of something or someone, I can generally lean on them in that moment. But there are so many more moments where I don't have anyone to share with. Back home, we do it this way, or that way. And besides, who wants to hear me drone on and on about how we do things back home, when they really don't care in first place?! I guess part of me wants them to care. Wants them to have the ability to transport back to Felton, to see things through my eyes, meet my family and friends and see how special things are there. But since that invention has not actually been introduced, that wish of mine won't be coming true any time soon.

And then I think about my future. People keep asking me how long I plan on staying here. I honestly have no idea. But if I do stay here long term and if I do start a family, my children won't get to take part in the amazing childhood that I did. They won't get to run around barefoot in the forest, or grow up in the same amazing community that I did. Why am I even thinking or worrying about this? I don't know. I suppose these feelings will just have to be muffled by my frequent trips back home, and the realization that I am essentially leading two lives now; the California me and the Nebraska me. Part of my life will always be in California, no matter where life takes me. So I guess I just need to suck it up and stop being so emotional!

Where else, but in Nebraska!

Overheard at a gas station, male customer to male clerk.

Customer: "Hey, do you know if it's supposed to snow soon?"

Clerk: "I haven't heard, but I think it may. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, its that I would make a great weatherman! I'm mean, what other profession can you make $100,000 a year for being wrong 90% of the time?!

Customer: "Well, I fit the prerequisite! I'm wrong 90% of the time!"

Clerk: "That's cuz your male!!"

Around every corner is something to make me smile, and this one surely did!